sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Randomize
