Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
