My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Randomize
