My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
