I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize
