just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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