I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
you traded sex for a burrito?
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
