I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
