ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
