I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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