i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
