If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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