So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
