my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
