Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
my being single is dangerous.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Randomize
