But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
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