just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
