You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Randomize
