i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Randomize