It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
