the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
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