I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Randomize
