Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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