Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Randomize
