Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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