Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
Randomize
