So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Randomize
