Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
