I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
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