Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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