I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
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