I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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