I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
I got inside last night via doggy door
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
i think im in europe. pls send help
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
