So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
