Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
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