Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
