Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
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