Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Well I just put wine in my tea
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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