i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
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