So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
