goodnight i made you a song goodbye
I showed him my bush... on skype.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
