now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize
