he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I think your dad took our porno
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
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