its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
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