Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize