I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
