But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Randomize
