I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
