Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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