We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Randomize
