Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Randomize
