So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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