High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
