so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Randomize
