It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Randomize
