What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
