Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
