I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
