It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
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