Whod you bang
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
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