idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
