trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
