Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
Randomize
