I love black thongs
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
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